It's a god-awful small affair            [Verse]

To the girl with the mousy hair      F#  Bbm C#m D#7

But her mummy is yelling no          G#m B C#7 C#7

And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Now she walks through her sunken dream  [Pre-

To the seat with the clearest view       Chorus]

And she's hooked to the silver screen    A  A

                                         F#m  G

But the film is a saddening bore         D  F#7

(For she's lived it ten times or more    Bm D7

 She could spit in the eyes of fools)

As (they ask her) to focus on           [Chorus]

                                   (B  E

Sailors fighting in the dance hall  G#m7 Em

Oh, man, look at those cavemen go   F#   F#m

It's the freakiest show             C#m7 Em7 x2)

Take a look at the                  G#m7 G

Lawman beating up the wrong guy     B  C#

Oh, man, wonder if he'll ever know

He's in the best selling show           [Instru]

Is there life on Maaaaars          F#  D#7 G#m   F7

                                   Bbm B Bm7 X

It's on America's tortured brow

That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow ╔═════════╗

Now the workers have struck for fame ║ Life on ║

'Cause Lennon's on sale again        ║  Mars?  ║

See the mice in their million hordes ║  David  ║

From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads     ║  Bowie  ║

Rule Britannia is out of bounds      ╚═════════╝

To my mother, my dog and clowns  [Pre-

                                  Chorus]

(Because I wrote it ten times or more     [Cho-

 It's about to be writ again) (I ask you)   rus]